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Thomas VHS

This is what the Directors Cut VHS looks like. You might be the unfortunate OWNER of it. Diss this tape in front of me, and I'll literally beat you up with a baseball bat.

Thomas the tank
Static

Before you read the Pasta

This has simmilarities to Shrek: Directors Cut. So don't go: "HURRRRR, DURRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! YOU COPIED SHREK: DIRECTORS CUT!!!" Don't be stupid.... It's only made up. No mean comments, please.

The Pasta

Let us go back to the year 2000, shall we?

Remember Thomas and the Magic Railroad? That film caused a lot of buzz and I happen to be a big fan of it myself. It recently piqued my curiosity that there was an unreleased Director's Cut of the film, and as soon as I heard about it, I began a search for it. I tried contacting the people who worked on the film, via emails or phone calls, but I never got a response or I only got an answering machine. 

My last RESORT was contacting Britt Allcroft., the person who directed the film. Through Skype, I was interviewing her, and I asked her general questions like "Where did you get the idea for this film?" and "What did you think of the finished film?" and whatnot. So when I finally asked her about the purported "Director's Cut", she just fell silent. I could see her face going pale. She proceeded to tell me, "Don't look for it. Just let the memory die." She hung up the call right then, and I just sat at my desk, confused. I went to bed. 

The next day, I tried emailing Mrs. Allcroft about the Director's Cut, in an attempt to find out more. I managed to get a response exactly fourty-five minutes later! The email said: "Just give me your address and I will send it to you... if you're sure you want to see it, then I guess I can't stop you. Beware, for the things you will see will forever stay in your mind for the rest of your life." I was unsure if I really wanted to see the Director's Cut at this point, but hey, morbid curiosity got the best of me. So I sent back another email with my address and a "thank you". 

A week earlier, I received a package from Britt herself. It was the Director's Cut VHS tape... strangely it had the exact same design as the regular Thomas and the Magic Railroad VHS tape. I popped it in my VHS player (Yes, I still have one) and let it play. 

Man, just how I wish I could take that back. 

The familiar logo jingles weren't heard. Well, they were, but the audio was very distorted and playing in reserved. It had fishes with red eyes smiling (from a SpongeBob "Red Mist" creepypasta) in the background, and goes static while the Alliance Pictures logo appears. The Gullane Pictures logo was there, and it was very distorted and playing in reserved, static in the background. After the logo was over, it fades to black. The audio is still playing. The intro of the filetm was different, you know, the part where Thomas meets Percy, right? Well, it just, stays there. it just froze on Thomas. He didn't move at all. You couldn't even hear Thomas' voice. It was just total silence. 

The screen stayed on Thomas for about six minutes until the tape cut to the scene of Thomas and the Conductor driving down the rail...Wow, this was pretty late in the film. But there was no sound. It cut to static for about five minutes, but again it was silent. The weird thing was, I could make some sort of hidden video in the static...  

It looked like Mr. Conductor, which was no longer in Thomas just lying on the rail, and Thomas somehow just continuously ran over Mr Conductor and blood and guts splattered on the screen. Aw, sick! I nearly vomited, but after the video clip ended, the film cut to the scene where Thomas is driving one of the characters in the film, but it was still silent. 

When it got to the scene of Thomas being chased by Diesel 10, it once again cut to static. This time there was no hidden video thankfully, and it was just regular static. It cut to the shot of Thomas leaving James at Tidmouth Sheds, with Diesel 10 sighing. However the scene went on longer than I expected... 

Diesel 10 drives away, then stops, sighs one last time, and proceeds to ride off the track in a Melting Pit. This emotionally effected me greatly, as Diesel 10 is one of my favorite characters, especially since he is the main antagonist. 

It cut to Thomas still being chased by Diesel 10, "I thought he killed himself." I said, but who cares. The disturbing thing is, the scene just keeps going. Diesel 10 actually kills Thomas by throwing Him off the track. Thomas' disembodied head rolls toward another one and gets crushed with a hyper realistic crunch by PT Boomer's Gun.

I couldn't take it. I screamed. "OH HAIL NO" 

I ejected the tape and smashed it with a hammer. 

I am NEVER gonna buy any of the bootleg tapes like this. I had nightmares about the tape for almost two weeks. 

One day, I got the original Thomas and the Magic Railroad tape. And as I sat on the couch for 25 seconds, there was a whisper behind me. It said: "Would you like to watch it again?" 

I turned around and it was a Thomas doll, with red eyes, smiling. 

I then threw the stupid thing out the window as I said- "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!! I HAVE NO TIME TO PLAY!!!!!

If you ever see a bootleg VHS copy of Thomas and the Magic Railroad, stay away from it, or why don't you destroy it?

Shrek is love, Shrek is life (HEY NOW, YOU'RE A ROCKSTAR, GET YOU SHOW ON, GET LAID AND ALL THAT THE GLITTER IS GONE, ONLY SHOOTING STAR WAKE NAH MAHLONE)

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