So do any of you remember the early episodes of The Jan and Jason Show? The ones that were just put out on the season 1 DVD a few years ago? Well, the show has been on for a long time even though it ended. However, There was an extremely disturbing episode that was so fucked up I had to tell someone. You might be wondering, "How do I know of this unaired episode?"
Well, I am an intern at Film Roman. There was a man who was a lead animator for a Jan and Jason special that was supposed to revive the show in 2009. His name was Zack. He would work day after day in an isolated room, designing a special that would "blow our minds", as he said. He indeed blew our minds, but not in an amazed way. In a sick, twisted way.
One day, he rounded up the cast and crew of the show to watch his final product. He gave us two VHS tapes and then left for unknown reasons. We looked at the first tape, and it was labeled in Japanese. I couldn't understand Japanese, so I quickly went to Google Translate and it said "The Jan & Jason Show Season 17 Episode 1, Jan's Death [8GAC01]"
WTF?! We just couldn't believe it! We never thought that one of the two main characters would die! We really hoped that this was some kind of morbid joke, but it wasn't. I guess Zack learned Japanese at high school.
We put the first tape in to see our guaranteed masterpiece of an episode. If only we knew what would would befall.
The first tape started. the intro played, but something was wrong about it.
The animation looked very rough, like it wasn't finished yet. The audio was also pitched down two octaves and was very distorted. So after the intro, no big deal. After the intro stopped, the title card spelled out the episode's name in English. "Jan's Death".
The episode began with Jan looking at a comic book, but Jason came here to tell Jan and he said "Let's go to the party, Jan!" So, Jan and Jason are running for the party for some reason, which lead Jan to say "Let's hurry! We're almost at the party!" What party?
When Homer, the character from "The Simpsons" came here to tell Jan and Jason something.
He said "Well, Jan, I have something I'm gonna to tell you."
Jan tells Homer and said "What are you going to tell me, Homer?" Homer then whispers to Jan The whisper is oddly quiet.
Jan then answers saying "What are you going to do to me?" Homer then answers, In a very creepy demonic voice "JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES, BECAUSE THIS IS A SPECIAL THING FOR YOU JAN". Then Homer pulls out a gun and shoots Jan.
Jason screams, saying OH MY GOD! HOMER, HOW COULD YOU?! YOU JUST KILLED JAN!"
Homer replies, saying "WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THAT, YOU'RE ABOUT TO MEET THE SAME FATE THAT JAN HAD!!!"
I couldn't even believe that Homer swore.
Homer then pulls out a gun. Jason's death is cut out to static, but you can hear the audio of the gun shooting. After about 30 seconds of a blank screen, It cuts to Homer in The Jan and Jason. For unknown reason, Homer turns red in the scene.
Then it cuts to a edited picture of Homer's head with soulless black eyes, small red pupils, and blood coming down from his eyes, while (what sounds like) distorted death metal music is being played in reverse (probably Raining Blood), with screaming and gun sounds laid over the music. The scene happens for about 20 seconds.
Then it cuts to a scene of Geo Guy, Jenny, Bloo, Bart, Frankie, Little Guy and Dr. Beanson dead. Homer is standing on top of them, with the same red eyes from before, holding a knife. Then Homer says "EXCELLENT, NOW ALL THAT IS LEFT IN JANSVILLE IS CRASH BANDICOOT."
The animation on this scene goes up in quality, about to the real show. Then it cuts to Homer in front of Crash Bandicoot, saying "YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! YOU BELONG IN HELL, LET SATAN BE WITH YOU! I DON'T FUCKING CARE! ALL HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAN! SATAN IS OUR LEADER!" and then to static with screaming and chainsaw sound effects played throughout it. Then it cuts to a scene of Crash Bandicoot dead, with a chainsaw in his stomach.
Homer then pulls a out a bomb and put it on top of everyone and Homer runs into the horrible explosion.
Homer shouts in a distorted voice "GOODBYE, EVERYONE! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!"
Homer laughed so hard, and it sounded more and more evil. Screaming is heard in the background.
The screen switches to that same image that I seen from that cursed Greeny Phatom episode, which haunted me forever. Tails, his eyes were red and blood was running out from them. Goddammit! Now it's in my head for even longer!
After that picture, stayed on the screen for six seconds, it cut to Homer transforming into a demon, and starts dancing. "I AM EVIL HOMER! I AM EVIL HOMER!" he sings, before the screen zooms a bit up to his head, and he gives this creepy smirk. What made it look creepy was that the teeth and gums looked photo-realistic.
Then the projector shut off by itself. We were really freaked out.
We took the tape and the unwatched one which said Jan's Death Commentary on it. This made me feel sick to my stomach. We were wondering how we could destroy these.
All of a sudden, the screen caught fire. The entire Film Roman building was on fire. Everyone had to evacuate quickly. I left the tapes there so they got burnt. As we all escaped the building, fire trucks had come to put out the fire.
Oh, Zack. You fucking shit! Were you trying to kill us all and destroy our company?!
And just why the hell would you make this episode?! I mean, why was this some sick joke?! BECAUSE THIS WASN'T FUNNY!
Wow. Just wow. I'm Atheist (because I see the world in a more scientific way) and I don't believe in Devils, Angels, God, Satan, Heaven, or Hell. But I'm questioning my beliefs now.
Well, this is the end of my story and I have nothing else to say, except for this.
Let me clarify that the tapes are not burnt or destroyed, and they are still out there somewhere. If you see any VHS tape or DVD with Jan's Death, or Jan's Death Commentary on it, DO NOT WATCH THEM! FOR PETE'S SAKE DO NOT WATCH THEM! JUST DESTROY THEM FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!