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Well, it has only been two years since I viewed Spongecry.avi and I'm far from recovering from such a shock after viewing the clip. My computer's been taken to Best Buy for repairs and to hopefully have the Spongecry.avi video eliminated from my PC forever. Hopefully, it will not haunt the doorsteps of my mind ever again. I should be getting a call from them by the end of this week if not longer. That would do my well-being a world of good to see that godforsaken video of Spongebob crying and turning into a decomposing mess every ten seconds gone forever. But one question lingers after I looked at the video clip that day. Who the hell wrote "One timed acshun wil be bdaldly" anyway? I went to a hacker friend of mine who was able to translate the gobbledygook that was in the video and maybe he could tell me what it meant. He was much braver than I was to view Spongecry.avi and asked me to leave the room. Seventeen years old, and had a lot of valour. After all, he was my best friend and was willing to do anything. I heard him say to me "Dude, it's fine. You can come back in. Video's not playing."
After deciphering the text from the original Spongecry video, which was indeed written in the style of a preschooler, here's what he said. "One time actions will be deadly." I looked at him skeptically. "What does that mean anyway?" I asked him. "The voice I heard on the video, that of Spongebob crying was not Tom Kenny at all." he replied. "Well, that's all fine and dandy n' everything, but what the hell does that have to do with the text you just translated?!" He picked up his bottle of Pepsi that he had been drinking, took a swig, and placed the glistening-wet bottle down on his desk.
"Dude," he said, calmly, "I'm getting to that. Don't worry. The shitty-looking scribble I saw that looked like it was written by a preschooler. It's too real to be CGI or use in any video-editing software. It was written by a person on an actual animation cell, which would explain why the Crayola crayon writing looked too real."
We hit the road from Malibu to Los Angeles City looking for answers. My friend was planning to have the video analyzed and to piece together the puzzle from when that video was made. "So that wasn't Tom Kenny's voice?" I asked him, as I watch the sun go down over the Malibu horizon as we drove. After all, it would only be 50 minutes until we reached Los Angeles.
"It was a woman's voice. Tom Kenny himself would not break down and cry that real and intensely when he was doing any episode of 'Spongebob.' When you see Spongebob crying on any episode, you know it's comical. But the woman who was heard crying in place of Tom... Something didn't seem right." he said.
After going to the police with the story, here's what they said. On this one episode of Spongebob Squarepants, Tom Kenny, who never missed a voice acting session in his life, took a Sick Leave and the episode was put on hold. A woman, in her mid 20's, the same voice heard in the Spongecry video, claimed she was a family member of Tom and said she could do any Spongebob character voice known to man, especially Spongebob, and asked the production crew, even Stephen Hillenburg, the show's creator, if she could fill in for Tom while he was out sick.
They didn't see any harm done in that. But the one weird thing I couldn't put my finger on is... Why would this woman ask the animation and audio crew to leave the room? Did she want to do this herself? Was she really that talented at animating and voice acting? Sure seemed like it. Since nobody was allowed to enter the recording studio where the voice actors went, and since it was sound-proof, this gave the woman a lot of time to do the cartoon. I also found out that the cartoon was originally going to be "No Weenies Allowed," but this young woman had entirely different plans for this episode. She looked at the script, where she stood near the microphone where Tom Kenny originally stands, was about to say her lines, and for no apparent reason, she breaks down crying, screaming, as if she was crying over the loss of a loved one or finding a family member dead from a heart attack. Again, nobody bothered her, nobody came into the studio, and what seemed like an eternity was actually 90 minutes.
The woman came out of the studio, looking and acting normal, even though she had teary-looking eyes, and ran into Bill Fagerbakke, the voice talent behind Patrick Starr. Fagerbakke asked her "You okay?" She told him that her tears from where she was laughing too hard after reviewing the finished episode and then smiled. Bill chuckled and commented on her doing a good job. And that was the end of the day. My friend's mother who worked as a phone tapper for the L.A.P.D was able to identify the voice.
"The voice you heard in the clip was the ex girlfriend of one of the animators at the Nickelodeon Animation Studio. She had been stalking the animator after he got married. When he blew her off too many times, her actions became more and more erratic. She even went so far as to kill and disembowel his poor dog. Other officers caught and arrested her for animal cruelty and stalking." my friend's mom told me.
"But why did the clip only last a near-7 minutes and the hand writing done by a preschooler, what about that?" I asked.
"That message was written by the woman's 3 year old son, as par her request. The cartoon itself was supposed to last 30 minutes like any other Spongebob episode. The other half of the cartoon became lost in the internet. It could be anywhere."
The Police Commissioner who came into the office was carrying a cup of coffee for me, a soda for my best friend, and a bottled water for my friend's mom.
"I overheard you talking about the lost Spongebob episode that was supposed to be filmed in place of 'No Weenies Allowed.'" he said, giving us our drinks.
"What do you know about the cartoon?" I asked. I was feeling tired and hungry. The coffee he gave me should be able to perk me up during this time. I felt like I wanted to sleep for a damn year.
"Rumor has it that the cartoon never aired and 'No Weenies Allowed' was shown instead, which was a big load off everyone's shoulders. My two little daughters are big Spongebob fans, and so am I. Anyway, I was reading an article on Yahoo! which said that the cartoon you were talking about got circulated via mobile text message. So if that's the case, and anyone who finds it, we can put an end to this mess." The police commissioner said.
At that moment, where I thought that everything was working out fine, I felt my stomach froze as I noticed a message displayed on my iPhone "One Missed Called." I was about to brush it off and thought it was just another telemarketer trying to sell me something, until I noticed the attached item that came with the message.
"What is it, man?" my friend asked. He noticed the look of concern and confusion on my face.
"I think I found the cartoon..." I replied, my voice nearly fading.
"Open the video." The police commissioner said calmly. My friend's mom was anxious to see the other half of the cartoon. After the video roared to life, it didn't resume like a video would that you see on YouTube when you go to part two or whatever, it showed the regular introduction, with Painty the Pirate being his old jolly self, kids singing the Spongebob Squarepants theme, and Spongebob playing the flute with his nose. After the "created by Stephen Hillenburg" byline was displayed, I didn't hear any music. Just the sound of a heart beating. Then very faintly, various news report audio clips:
"Authorities continue to release details of the murders. They still have no explanation as to why it all happened."
I heard then, the sound of a woman weeping softly. This was starting to get a little scary...
The clips continued...
"The medical examiner says he expects to positively identify most victims..."
"A file cabinet in the refrigerator and opened boxes..."
"The police department continues to be flooded with calls from families with missing loved ones..."
"Says he killed even more."
"Arrested on suspicion of Mass Murder. Some of these murders at least have been committed outside the city limits..."
The title screen came up: "Spongebob Cry II" A FUCKING SEQUEL?!
Just as I remembered, Spongebob in his big red chair, all the furniture gone, poor little Gary laying dead, lifeless, and mauled beyond recognition. I wanted to cry because I saw Gary dead. Poor little fella. My heart hurt for him, but I just tried to remain calm. As Spongebob continued to get more and more decayed, looking like a putrified mess after every ten seconds he became when he cried, he stopped, turned, and looked at the viewer. His skin was already a mucky-looking mess and he looked more like carrion wearing his trademark shirt, shoes, and little red tie. All Spongebob ever did in the first video was cry, but he now started to speak.
"So is this what it will take to talk to you, Evan?" Evan was the name of one of the animators at the Nickelodeon Animation Studio for Spongebob. "Why couldn't it have been you to ask me as your wife instead of Stephanie?! She doesn't love you. I LOVED YOU! YOU LOVED THAT STUPID DOG, TOO, MORE THAN ME! I know I was stupid to turn you down in High School, but I was a stupid girl back then, and I didn't know any better. I WAS YOUNG AND STUPID, YOU HAPPY?! I WANTED TO BE YOUR LOVER, BUT I WAS TOO BUSY HAVING MY HEAD UP ERIC'S ASS TO EVEN CARE! YOU'RE RIGHT, I WAS USING ERIC AND MAKING HIM LOOK LIKE A FOOL, I WANTED TO MARRY HIM!!! (teary voice) But I was so young and stupid... (sniffles) You had every right to threaten me when I was messing with you... and your family. It was my own damn fault for costing you a lover those years ago. (Screaming, crying) I HAD A MENTAL ILLNESS, BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOU BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID YOU WOULD HATE ME FOREVER! BUT I GUESS YOU DO, DON'T YOU?!! Georgia told me not to kill your beautiful dog, but I went ahead and did it anyway. (Manic laughter) I killed your fucking Malamute, baby. The reason why I told Georgia about you is I wanted her to know how sweet you were and how much I loved you, but I guess you're never gonna love me... (Screams, cries hysterically) AREN'T YOU?! SINCE I WAS PREGNANT WITH OUR CHILD, AND I KNEW YOU WERE NEVER GONNA LOVE ME, I JUST THOUGHT I'D RUIN YOUR LIFE BY RUINING YOUR FAVORITE CARTOON!"
As the lamentation and commentary continued, Spongebob now turned into a walking-dead skeleton as the crying got more violent and he continued to talk. But as I said, this wasn't Tom Kenny's voice at all. This was a mentally insane woman who had driven away every boyfriend she ever had because of her severe manic depression. She never admitted it to anyone because she thought it would've made her weak and everyone would leave her and she would go from popular to unpopular in the blink of an eye. When Spongebob started to become a graveyard-like skeleton, the inside of his house started to decay from years of neglect, the wallpaper peeling off the wall, and Gary now a putrified mess. My best friend, despite the fact that he remained calm, puked in a waste basket after seeing Gary a dark green puddle of slime and rotting flesh, and his shell now aged.
"Until you accept me back into your life, Evan, I'm gonna continue to wreak havoc on you, the animators at your precious Nickelodeon Studio, your friends, your family, and your life in general. YOU DON'T DESERVE STEPHANIE! (settles down, intense crying now becomes soft weeping) I'm sorry you hate me. I'm sorry you don't want me back in your life... I know we can only be friends... But I don't care if you hate me or not... I still love you... so does Georgia... so do all my friends. (weeping as if she were sorry for everything)"
The next thing I remember seeing in this savage cartoon was, as the crying became less intense and softened, oddly, Spongebob's furniture returned to his house, materializing on demand, popping back into place with a comical cartoony "pop" sound. The wallpaper appearing on the inside of his pineapple like new. A light shining from above on the now-rotted away puddle of sludge that was Gary, now bringing him back to life, while I heard an angelic heavenly choir singing, and a soothing twinkling sound, with star dust encircling him, returning him to his normal happy little self. GARY WAS ALIVE! Seeing him alive, but now on the floor where he once laid dead, was now producing his cute little snoring meows. The little guy was tired. Spongebob himself started to come back to life, from being a rotting, putrefied skeleton to his normal spongy self. Spongebob was still sad, though. He went over to where his sleeping snail was, gave him a kiss on one of his eye stalks and walked back to his bedroom. Still in the woman's voice, I heard her say very softly through her tears "I'm sorry..."
Then a TV test pattern showed up at the end of the video after a cut to black sequence.
Turns out the love-sick Fatal Attraction-esque woman was the one behind the "Spongecry" episode, she was at one point a sought-after horror film animator who just had a nervous breakdown after she had been dumped...which would explain Spongebob turning into a ghoul. Creator Stephen Hillenburg reported the woman to police and was scheduled to have her appear in court. She refused to testify against Nickelodeon Animation Studios and later committed suicide out of remorse.
I was fortunate enough to delete part two of the Spongecry episode from my iPhone.
The nightmare was finally over, and since this whole mystery was solved, I will be able to sleep better at night from now on.
And now, a little post-mortem advice to the love-sick girl who made Evan's life a living hell:
He said he didn't want to have anything to do with you and he is happy with his new wife and life.
When a guy drops your ass, "No" means "NO..." bitch.