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Remember those old Spongebob episodes which some of us used to watch in 1999 from season one? Well, recently a secret episode has been discovered from that time period.
The other day, I was searching through my computer when I came across a Notepad document deep within System 32. Having no idea how it got there, I scanned it for viruses. It had one Trojan in it. I deleted it and opened it up. All that was printed was one website link, followed by the following gibberish: "Akladsjaoao4|f" Having not a single clue what it meant, I continued by putting the site link (which I won't tell you in case anyone out there if fucking stupid enough to try it) into my web browser. It took me to a site, where there was a black background and a huge button. It had the same text on it that was in the Notepad document. I clicked it, and it brought up a download link. The file wanted to be downloaded was called "spongecry.avi". As crazy as I am, I went ahead and downloaded it. Big mistake. The second the download finished (which was 4.6 megabytes) my computer made the weirdest sound ever, and turned off. As I tried to reboot it, nothing happened. The file must have destroyed my computer. As upset as I was, I realized I was on my old PC. I hopped over on my Mac and redownloaded it. This time, there was no problem. What was downloaded was the single .avi file. I played it.
The movie clip was six minutes and four seconds long. It started out as any Spongebob episode would, except the color was distorted, and when he got to playing the flute with his nose, it immediately went to the title screen. All that was on the title screen was the following words: "Spongebob Cry", only there wasn't any jaunty music like there usually was. It lasted about two and a half seconds. It didn't show who the writers and directors were; I just assumed that whoever put it online had edited it for time or something. The episode started out inside Spongebob's house. It showed Spongebob sitting in his red chair. The strange thing was, all of the other furniture was gone. Spongebob was crying. Very hard. But, it didn't sound anything like it does when Spongebob normally cries. It sounded like a real, human cry. But it was still different. It sounded so real and intense. Spongebob was absolutely bawling. He was ripping chunks out of the chair. Then, the camera zoomed really close in on his face, but it is the kind of zoom as if it was being video taped by a real person. Then, the camera zoomed out to show a rotting corpse of Gary laying on the floor in front of him. It was very disturbing.
Gary was absolutely mauled to death. His eyes were laying on the floor, his shell was cracked to reveal a very gross image of the inside of Gary (which looked a whole lot more like what would have really in happened in the episode where Gary loses his shell). The camera was moving around like crazy. Spongebob suddenly got out of his chair and ran. Ran straight forward. Then, the episode stops moving for about one second, then it goes to black for two seconds, then it comes back with Spongebob's face pressed against the camera, with his mouth exploded open and eyes black, and a deafeningly loud scream. I jolt up and turn my volume down. And then, the camera starts moving around like insanity; you can't even tell what is going on. It was worse than anything Pokemon could ever put out. The clip then goes to black for one minute and thirty-eight seconds. It comes back, inside the Krusty Krab, dead silent. All of a sudden, the same face that was pressed against the camera appeared, but this time, the scream was LITERALLY deafeningly loud. But it only lasted for about a fourth of a second. Then, for the rest of the movie, it goes back to Spongebob crying in the chair, but after every ten seconds, Spongebob gets just a little bit more decayed, and the sound gets a little more distorted. By the end, all there is left is static and screaming. Then you can see Spongebob running again in the background of the static.
But for the last four seconds, there is text on the screen that reads "oen timd acshun wil be bdaldly" ("One timed action will be badly"). Exactly that, as if it was written by a preschooler. After the clip finished, my computer shut down.
After seeing this video, I have never been the same. I've been angrier, crueler, and more anxious than ever before. It has haunted my mind all the time. I regret downloading the video in the first place. I wish I could just go back in tiAkladsjaoao4|f