I was off shirking my responsibilities and staying up late in an early Friday morning around 4:00 AM while procrastinating on my college work, bump all of that. All of my friends went to bed, and I wasn't in a mood to play any games, so, I turned on my TV to see any channels are on. When I was channel surfing to Adult Swim for reruns, my eyes immediately caught on Comedy Central playing the South Park opening sequence.
Normally, Comedy Central usually plays an infomercial at that time but I was too delighted to notice or even care. It was an earlier opening with the banjo player, but during the part where Kenny mumbles his lines, I just realized the quality of the video graphics was poor and unstable, even for South Park standards. It was as if someone recorded via VHS. But little did I know that weirder things were about to happen.
Usually the episode starts right after the theme song where Ike or Mr. Hankey flies into the South Park sign, but this time static suddenly erupted and stayed there a bit longer than usual, until the actual episode showed up. The actual episode started without any music at all, and simply showed Kenny walking in the streets of South Park, but it wasn't the classic hopping or skidding walk that the show is famous for, but an actual walking animation. There was no sound either, and no sign of the other boys or any background characters for that matter, as Kenny silently walked in a loop, like out of the Flintstones cartoon.
In the loop, classic locations were shown, like Tom's Rhinoplasty and Stark's Pond, and despite the geographical errors like showing the school at one part, then the movie theatre after that, I shrugged it off, believing it to be the type of indirect joke Trey and Matt are notorious for, so I decided to continue watching it.
But then, after the five-minute mark, the looping buildings started to mix away at random, and the new buildings began to appear as if on cue, showing locations such as Raisins and Casa Bonita, though neither of those would appear until later seasons. I didn't know that at the time, of course, but in hindsight it's pretty weird.
A door opening was suddenly heard in the background, followed by the sounds of various people shouting and other sorts of commotion. The audio was too muffled and distorted, so I wasn't able to fully hear what they were saying. But it sounded too realistic to be an act, it sounded like a group of people yelling at a crying woman to stop. They people were begging not to do it as the crying woman warns them to back off or she'll take them with her.I was confused.
The screaming and begging grew louder along the way and during the tussle; the animation itself revealed the background changing into more realistic details. The looping buildings began to deteriorate over time and it appeared to synchronize with the screaming. First it showed signs of neglect, like boarded doors and broken windows, and the next loop shows the structures discoloring away due to age, and it continues to loop in worse conditions than the last as the screaming grew louder and violent all the way until to the point where all the famous landmarks were barely recognizable and falling apart. But Kenny, for some reason, didn't experience change at all and not only that, he continued to walk as if nothing was happening.
Both the audio and the animation lasted for another five minutes, during which the voices were getting clearer up until the end. Several of the voices I was able to identify and recognize: Trey and Matt, along with Isaac Hayes, telling the crying woman to think about her husband. Trey Parker and Matt Stone sounded genuinely afraid in their midst. It didn't sound anything like a joke at all, it sounded too genuine for a prank by them. I then heard Isaac telling her "Please don't do it" before a silence for a while. At this point the animation froze, as if it was waiting for the woman's answer. Finally, the woman just barely muttered in a whisper, "I'm sorry…" before a loud gunshot was heard following a thud.
Screams of help erupted, panicked yells for help, and crying was heard before the animation cut to black. Several minutes of silence had passed until the animation returned to Kenny walking again in a loop, and the background returned to normal as if nothing had happened. Only this time, after a minute or two, Kenny stopped and turned around into the viewer's direction and walked towards me as the camera drew nearer and nearer, until Kenny was close enough that his hooded face covered the screen.
His staring eyes gave me shivers as Kenny continued to simply look at the camera's view, as if he was watching me from my own TV. Never blinking at all, as if he was under a trance, he continued to do so for four minutes before the screen cut to black as the credits quietly played. Afterimages of Kenny's eyes lingered on in the credits until it finally faded away during the Braniff airplane logo, and the screen faded to black until an infomercial started playing as if nothing had happened.
I don't know if the events that occurred to me that night were some kind of a sick joke Trey and Matt played for people like me, or something far more ominous. Even as I type, I still feel those eyes staring at me with the same haunting chill, and fart.
The death that was heard on audio was ruled a suicide.
Credit goes to PLCTheCd