I was an intern at General Mills, Inc. and I was working as a janitor. One time, my impolite boss asked me to clean the basement. I was about to make a comment because first of all it smells like rabbit feces (which is ironic because Trix looks like rabbit poop) and there's a bunch of insects in there. This isn't the first time he asked me to do this. Last time I cleaned the basement, there were a bunch of crickets. I'm pretty sure the varmints made a nest in there.

I went down to the basement and swept the floor. Then, I encountered a VHS tape named "I haet Saturday". I picked it up and headed out of the basement. I was heading to the viewing room. At first, I made sure nobody was looking. Shortly after, I opened the door that lead to the room. I inserted the tape and watched.

It showed a kid with a suitcase and asked the General Mills mascot if they could make it Saturday. The Trix Rabbit said "HELL NO!" and raped him up the... well, you know. It went to black and a teenager screaming was heard.

The rabbit was done raping him. Rabbit feces and blood were all over the kitchen. The Trix Rabbit made a grim laugh as his eyes shrunk and grew sharp teeth.

It cut to black again, and it showed all the General Mills mascot, in a bathtub, dead. Words were written in blood: "SATAN INCARNATES" and "MASCOTS LIKE US DON'T NEED THIS". It went to static and it ended. Damn, does General Mills have to be that dark?

Suddenly, a security guard caught me red handed.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT GOT-DAMNED TAPE?!" he hollered in a western accent.

"I... found it-" I said, trying to confess.

"I don't give two shits."

My boss came in.

"What about the tape?"

"He was viewing it without authorized permission!"

The room grew silent.

"Sorry, Vincent, but I'm gonna have to release you."

"You mean... I get to go home early?"

"No, you dumbshit. I mean that you're fired. Get out of my sight."

The room grew silent... again. I went down to the basement to grab something.

"Where did that idiot wander off to?"

I ran back to the viewing room and beat him up. I hollered profanity as I did.

Later, the party van arrived. Three days later, I was released from the slammer and there were news reports about that lost commercial.

Please, don't get involved in the same incident like I did.

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