The Pasta Edit
Has anybody out there ever watched a show called “Mighty Magiswords” by Kyle A. Cazzora? It's a show about Vambre and Prohyas, a brother and sister team of “Warriors for Hire”, who go on hilarious adventures, Temp-Jobs and crazy quests to collect magical swords. They go around the world to get many swords, when they are on quests. The show has received mixed to negative reviews, because of the plot who was either non-existant or just confusing. My favourite character of the show is Hoppus the Rabbit. Despite being mean and bossy, he is so badass and his voice is so awesome (much better than the french voice of Hoppus). But there are a lot of questions regarding this character: why does he want to get all the Vegetable Magiswords? Why does he have trouble trusting people? And mostly importantly, why does he refuse to go back to the Rabbit Village? I think I got the answer.
I was surfing on Cartoon Network, watching previous episodes of this cartoon. Watching the previous episodes was always fun, and it was one of the only shows I like on Cartoon Network. I then went back to my browser and found a page that had all episodes of the series. I jumped on the occasion, since I wanted to watch every episode, from the shorts to the 10-minute episodes. I immediately downloaded it, and prepared myself some pop-corn. Once the download was over, I opened the folder. It contained, as I expected, all episodes of Mighty Magiswords. But there was one file “DePrEsSeDRaBbIt.mp4”. Could be this a Halloween-like episode, or something the creators thought it was so disturbing they wished not to air but wanted to keep it due to the fact that it was a creation of Cazzora? I began to feel a bit suspicious and my heart pounded. But my curiosity overtook me, so I clicked it.
I’ll go into the cliché of stories like this and say that the episode started normally, because well, it did. The intro started playing. It was rather normal: no blood, no deep or reverse music, just the joyful theme song of Mighty Magiswords. The title card read “Depressed Rabbit” and showed Hoppus standing in a red background. He was crying, like in “Hoppus the Hunted”. The first scene was the same as in “Hangry Hangry Hoppus”. Actually, it was the same episode, but I felt like watching again. Nothing off happened for most of the episode. Once in a while it would glitch, where the image would freeze for a second and then fast forward to catch back with the sound. There were a few oddities that happened whenever Hoppus was on screen, but I didn’t care as long as I was enjoying one of my favourite episodes.
But near the end is when things take a dark turn. If you have seen this episode as many times as I have, at the end of the episode, Prohyas and Vambre used a giant robot to defeat a dinosaur version of Hoppus who was controlled by the Cursed Garlic Magisword. After the battle, everything went back to normal and Hoppus gets arrested for destroying a Garlic Village and ruining Princess Zangye’s hair. Well, it did not happen that way. After the battle, Hoppus went back to normal and fell from the sky. But instead of being saved by Prohyas, a black shadow proceeded to hit Hoppus. That figure looked like the Mysterious Hooded Woman, but smaller. At this moment, a dramatic music started playing. Hoppus landed on the ground, and was ready for a death battle. “Who the heck are you?!”, he asked. The shadow didn’t respond, and took out the Cursed Garlic Magisword, shooting a Garlic Beam (I call it like that). Hoppus used the Onion Magisword and fired an Onion Beam. Sadly, the mysterious figure won the battle and knocked down Hoppus. It then walked towards him, and stepped on his stomach. “Who are you?”, asked Hoppus. “I am the consequences of your failure.”, replied the creature. That voice... It sounded a lot like Danelda, as if she wanted to get back at Hoppus for not accepting to come back to the Rabbit Village. It then raised a real sword, and chillingly said those words. “Goodbye, Hoppus.” As the shadow was about to fish Hoppus, the screen cut to a glitching screen of colors bars with a loud and irritating noise. It went on for like 10 seconds before it cut to black. A heavily distorted, almost unintelligible voice then started speaking: “This is a nightmare that you won’t wake from!” That voice made me jump out of my chair, I almost fell out.
The next scene showed Hoppus standing on... nothing? The odd part about him is that he was in black and white...for some reason. But the most disturbing part was the music. It was rather eerie, slowed down, and sounded like an electronic device. I didn’t know if it was me, but I could also hear screaming in the background. Hoppus then turned around, revealing his eyes. His eyes... They were bleeding. And empty. “Where...am I?”, said Hoppus as he was looking around. He then walked forward for about 2 minutes, before a shadow appeared. I couldn’t see what he looked due to both him and the background being completely black, the only things that were visible were his red eyes and his mouth. He started speaking: “Welcome to hell, Hoppus.” Here’s a transcript of the conversation (I watched this episode twice, so pardon me if things sound too specific but I've had time to think about them):
Hoppus: Who are you?
Unknown Character: I’m your wickedness...made of flesh!
Unknown Character: You heard me right, Hoppus. I am the consequences of your failure.
Hoppus: … W-What?
Unknown Character: You left the Rabbit Village after a conflict with Marcus Brutus Rabbit, and you let him destroy the entire village! No one was saved, because of you!
Hoppus: You don’t understand! Marcus’s power mad was the reason I left the village!
Unknown Character: That’s the worst excuse you could have possibly said. You may have surprised that Danelda asked you to come back, because every rabbit saw you as a hero! The one who will defeat Marcus Brutus and save the village! But now, they see you as a coward! They don’t appreciate you anymore! You are a monster! A heartless rabbit-slut!
Hoppus then bent down and started crying in the cartoon style (you really thought I would say the crying sounded realistic?). After 10 seconds, the demonic figure shouted: ”This time, death can not save you!”. Suddenly, a red fog covered the screen. Although I couldn’t see anything, I could hear Hoppus coughing, probably choked to death by the Devil. When the fog disappeared, Hoppus was the only character on screen. He then looked at me with a menacing look. But his smile… Oh god, he had the most horrifying smile I had ever seen. His last words were: “I am the fearful reflection of what you have created!”. Hoppus then took out his well-known Carrot Magisword and proceeds to hit the screen. The moment he did than, static appeared on screen. I swear, I heard a demonic laugh the moment the static appeared. It went for like 15 seconds before it cuts to black. “What the bloody hell was that?”, I said to myself. The credits then showed up. The background was the infamous Rabbit Village burnt to the ground. But the music…was disturbing. It sounded like a demonic chant. After the credits faded to black, the demonic voice said its final words: “The nightmare is just beginning.” An image of Hoppus flashed for a split second. He looked rather evil and had different colors, and was holding a knife in his left hand. And that’s where the episode ends. Thank fucking god it’s over.
I was lost after watching this episode. Questions still rang through my head: Why was this made? What happened that led Kyle Cazzora, the creator of the show, to make this? There has got to be an explanation behind this. I tried doing some research of this certain episode, but nothing was found on this specific episode. I even went on to write an email to Cartoon Network with the episode attached to it. They did respond to me. Here’s what they said:
“Hello, Jeremy. I never knew you would come across something that was never meant to be seen, but I guess you need a full explanation to all of this. We had one writer who had wonderful ideas (I won’t mention his name). His ideas were very interesting, most of them were regarding Hoppus, one of his favourite characters. But we never expected his ideas to be very dark. But when we announced that the show was going to be cancelled, we needed some ideas to conclude the series. And so, this guy stepped in. We thought it was a good idea to let him work on a final episode of the show. Spoiler alert, it wasn’t. I remember watching the episode in the editing room along with the lead animators and sound editors for the final cut. According to him, it was going to be the final episode of the show, and that it will end the series with the fate of the Rabbit Village. But as we were watching the “alternate ending”, we were truly terrified. One of the interns who was with us said that it was “the way to the fifth circle of Hell” next to Teen Titans GO! (he hates that show, and prefered Mighty Magiswords over that piece of garbage). The writer of this abomination was fired, and then arrested. But later, we used the rest of the episode and turned it into what everybody knows: you know, with Hoppus getting arrested. I don’t even know how you came across the prototype version of “Hangry Hangry Hoppus”. I believe this lunatic wanted it to share it online in some sick hope that it will traumatize all fans of this show. I don’t know what was going inside this guy’s head to come up with such a morbid episode. We are very sorry to hear you have witnessed a nightmare which was never meant to be seen. We hope this kind of scenario will not happen again. Until then, thank you for following the wacky adventures of Prohyas and Vambre.
Kyle A. Cazzora (A.K.A. Prohyas Warrior).”
To this day, I’m still scared by what I have just witnessed, but here’s something I can say regarding Hoppus after watching this episode: for so long, Hoppus wanted to collect all Vegetable Magiswords to fulfill his greatest desire, but despite that, he was still unable to avoid the inevitable fate of death. His quest only made him believe he’s immortal. Well, looks like it's the end of my story. Let this be a lesson to you, if you come across an episode or film that scares the living crap out of you, I suggest that you look away. There's no telling what inhuman scenes await human eyes.
Screenshots (it's fake, don't worry) Edit