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KillaRappa

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I never really wanted to share this. I have been keeping this to myself for years. But It's all coming back up again, and I think it's time to share this with the world. It all started when I moved into my apartment. I knew a few friends there, and I thought it would be a good place to crash. I started unpacking my things, everything seemed where it should be until I stumbled upon my old Playstation 1. I thought to myself, "didn't I sell this a few years ago?" I just assumed the buyer called it off, and I forgot.

Since I had the Playstation 1 and my friends weren't here I should just go out and try to find some Playstation 1 games. I went to a local flea market, but no luck. I did manage to pick up a Playstation 2 controller, and a memory card. I went by a few yard sales, but there were still no Playstation 1 games. While I was driving by I saw one particular sign that read:

"Garage Sale - Video games, toys and more!"

I headed over to the address of the garage sale. There was a table with not to many appealing items. There were a few cardboard games, boxes, and old dolls and toy cars. While I was looking down at the table I felt a gentle breeze on my neck. Like a man's breath. I turned around without hesitating and saw a young man smiling at me. It was one of the creepiest smiles I have ever seen... The creepiest part about it was that, it was just like the Happy Mask salesman from the Zelda games.

I thought to myself, "That's crazy, its just a coincidence because I'm kind of looking for a PaRappa game." The man asked me, "Is there anything you are looking for in peculiar?" I asked him if he had any Playstation 2 games. He showed me into his garage and he looked through a few boxes. After a long search through the box, he pulled out a case. There was nothing on the case, it looked a bit torn up to be honest. But as my eyes focused on the tiny text on the box, it read:

"PARAPPA".

I knew this couldn't be the original game, but I decided I would take it. I asked the man, "How much?" The man replied, "Don't worry about it, it's free. I'm not even sure if it works!" Then he laughed. Just like the Happy Mask salesman from Majora's Mask. Scared already, I hurried to my car and drove off. Once I got home I plugged in my Playstation 1, put in the controller and put in the memory card. I took out, the game and as soon as I took it out, I noticed flaws.

There were scratches and marks but the oddest thing is the color of the disc. If you have ever seen the Gree Guy's Returns disc, you would know the color is green. But on this disc, it was red... almost as a blood red. It looked so real, it scared the living hell out of me. I knew this had to be some sort of hacked version, which made me want to play it even more. I popped the disc in, and to my surprise it ran amazingly smooth. Smoother than any game I have ever seen. It looked perfectly normal; The Sony Computer Entertainment logo was there, along with the NanaOn-Sha logo. Then the title screen came up. I press start. before the loading screen can transition over to the stage screen, The the title screen turned out creepier. Parappa had hollow eyes and black liquid (persumibly crude oil) pouring out of his eyes. The text was blood red and bleeding. The copyright year was now "666".

The normal "Wait a sec..."/"Hold on..."/"Wait a moment..." screen showed up before transitioning to some sort of character select menu. I selected Papa Parappa. Then the game froze for 8 seconds. Then the kefka laugh came out of my speakers before it transitioned to the stage.

The stage was called "HERO".

Then i rapped my way thru the stage. I got the Bad/Awful ending instead of the normal.

Then "TRY AGAIN!!!" flashed on the screen. I selected "NO". then it went back the character select screen, but Parappa was gone. I selected sunny and the stage was "BACK".

I rapped thru the stage, same as Stage 1.

Sunny funny was gone too. I selected Katy Kat and the stage was "ME".

I rapped, then same as Stage 1.

Katy Kat was gone. Then i selected PJ Berri and the stage was called "HEART".

I rapped, same as Stage 1.

PJ was gone. I selected Joe Chin.

The stage was called "..."

I rapped, then static and the KillaRappa version of the "I AM GOD" message from sonic.exe.

I staticed 3 times before the distorted Kefka laugh. Then it staticed for 5 seconds at the loudest volume.

Then it stopped and showed nothing but black screen.

As I sat there staring at the black screen, one last text came up.

"Ready for Round 2?"

Then the game froze.

Then it went back the title screen, but this time it was normal.

I smashed the disk. Never played that disk again.

If you see a copy of PaRappa, don't buy it.

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