Back in 2002, my dad was ending his career with Fox to retire or become a waiter at my local diner. He decided to grab some tapes from the vault for memories. Robert Stainton said to be careful with the Greeny Phatom ones because he might run into some episodes banned from television made by crazy people. To go out on a limb here, he didn't find Little Guy's Suicide or episode 666. The only popular thing he found was Crybaby Lane, which hadn't been seen since its first and only airing. Back to the story, he found varieties of tapes. (The Simpsons, Greeny Phatom, Family Guy)

In 2008, I was doing some cleaning. I called Tim to see if he could help, but he was "too busy" as usual. I got bored so I dug into the box. I found my hand holding 2 tapes: one that said Greeny Phatom: The End of the Line and one that said Rugrats: Mommy Mania. I picked Greeny Phatom because I had never heard of it. I scouted the internet for any signs of information, but nothing came up. The box art was amazing. It had a happy Santed Sailor smiling and Little Guy and Dr. Beanson dancing in the background, all in front of the Beach Park. It said it had three episodes: The End of the Line, Police Nemo, and To Greeny City. Seemed fair, but all those episodes are ones I didn't hear of. I was interested. I pulled out the tape itself. I though it would have a super-fancy title sticker to match the box, but it seemed to just be a yellow stick with slender-black lines and in blue sharpie, the title was written. I didn't mind. So then I popped it in my VHS hopping for a fantastic time. I was wrong, very wrong.

At first I got a blue screen for 3 minutes. I was just about to pull the tape out when a main menu came up. Same old cheery music. The tiny clip-show above the choices had 3 clips. Santed Sailor being chased by the 123 Greeny Phatom police, Santed Sailor running in front of police cars while they are chasing him, and Santed Sailor lifting weights. I wondered why there were not any other characters were present except Santed Sailor and the police. I clicked play. I got the normal intro, but the opening music was silent, I originally thought it was just because the tape was old. It was just made about a month ago, though. The title card had the Japanese "Crash Bandicoot" theme and was just a pale blue background with red words in Comic Sans MS Bold. I was starting to think it was a bootleg. The episode started with Santed Sailor in the Beach Park going on his computer, then making a movie (as seen in the clip-show), and then watching videos. He then said "What a Shippy Shippy Shippy Day." I was wondering what the hell he was talking about. He then ran home.

When he got there, he got in his car and drove to Little Guy's house. He stormed right into Little Guy's bathroom. Little Guy was taking a bath. Santed Sailor ran over and punched Little Guy in the stomach. A close up of his eyes occurred and he was bawling hard. His shell was nearly 50% wrecked. Santed Sailor's hand was covered in blood. It looked a bit like liquidy paint that wasn't dry. Little Guy fell backwards, took one last gasp of air, put his hand over the wound, and died.

Santed Sailor stole a different car and drove out. He didn't care to look, and hit Dr. Beanson with the boat. The same blood is seen, with guts, brains, and bones all over. He then drove to the Beach Park and parked his car.

The credits taught me a lot.

Director: Fredrick Gorgote and Marcels BenPeialdae

Producers: Milly Untikk, Munn Yulugichs, and Kako Brownday

Editor: Dennis Polish

Santed Sailor: Robert Stainton

Little Guy: AT&T Mike

Dr. Beanson: Speakiona Peter

Does any of the names look familiar? Hmmm...

I was trying to comprehend what I just watched when Police Nemo came up. The title card looked ugly. A beige-ish yellow-ish background and brown text. The episode came on with a very fuzzy look and fuzzy audio but after 21 seconds it cleared up, revealing very clean graphics. It resembled fan art or sketches.

The episode begins with Santed Sailor running out of his house with 4 shotguns, a backpack of ammo and pistols, a sniper, 3 AK-47s, a katana, assorted knives, grenades and rocket launcher, and rubbing alcohol.

More plot is coming soon.

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