Today, I went to my game store, looking for some retro video games. I found a copy of Green Adventure. I liked how you explore Green.

I went home and popped Green Adventure in my Sega Saturn. However, something was off.

The title screen was very disturbing. Green had dark hollow eye-sockets with red spots, the G was rusted and ruined and the sky had turned red.

Instead of the title screen music playing, It played the Lavender Town theme from Pokemon playing very fasted and at a much lower pitch, also in reverse. I was a little scared, and I wanted to turn off the game, but something inside me told me to keep playing.

When I pressed start, it took me right into the game, I went into the game's first world, and I started on the first level.

When I got to there, it was called:


I was surprised at this. Kipper wasn't even IN Green Adventure and he was not supposed to be on systems! However, I kept on playing. The level was on fire, the enemies were on fire, everything except Green was on fire. every time I shoot an enemy, blood squirted out and pooled all over the ground. The enemies didn't explode in a cartoony explosion when they hit the ground, they just fell on the ground in a crumpled heap.

I got to the end and found Kipper the Dog in the area. Kipper the Dog was bloody and weak. He said in a sad, weak voice, "Please, end my suffering..."

I shoot Kipper and he fell on the ground, dazed. I picked him up and used a Mad Move on him. "Do it again, Green..." I did it again.

"O...n...c...e...more...Green..." Finally, I killed him, and instead of spitting gems out of his mouth, Green stood in front of him and blood splattered all over his face.

I vomitted in my lap. I couldn't take it any more. I reached to turn off the game, but Green spun around and looked directly into my eyes. I was terrified. He said to me to not turn off the system but I turned it off anyway.

I cried my eyes out. I was so scared. I took the game out of my Sega Saturn, and smashed it, burned it, and did everything you could to destroy it.

I still have nightmares about what I saw. I will never play a Green Adventure game again, due to my past experiences.

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