Okay, don't go jumping to conclusions when I tell you about my recent problems with VOCALOID2. I'm not some deranged wee boo who loves writing songs about "Len-kun's super sugoi proposal to her". No. I'm actually a serious, honest-to-god aspiring song producer. I want to be up there with MothyP and all them. But this glitch…Or whatever you would call this is deterring me from touching the icon for my beloved VOCALOIDs.
Now, I'm not a fan of Hatsune Miku. Let's just establish that right now. I used to hate her even more than I do now. I found her squeaky little voice to be annoying as hell. But now I don't hate her. I fear her. Mainly because of something that happened last week.
I was using the program as usual when I decided I would use Miku as a backup voice. Don't ask why I would do that, I obviously had no other choice. However, when I tried to put in notes, none would appear. I drug them in. I tried copy-pasting them. Nothing worked.
Sooner or later, I got a window of text when I tried to close out the track with Miku. It read (in perfect English, since I have the English patch):
"No. Don't leave me now."
I was confused for a second, then tried to close the Track again. I got another text window.
"I finally had a chance to make you happy. Why aren't you happy?"
I thought this must have been some sort of mistranslation (don't ask me why I thought that, I found comfort in that little lie). I kept trying to close out of the track, but the program… No… she wouldn't let me.
"You hate me, don't you? You always use Luka and the twins more than you use me. You even use Big Al more than you use me. You really hate me. Well, you know what? I hate you, too. I hate you so much. I do what I can to make you happy, but you never let me. Why won't you let me make you happy?!"
At this point, I was legitimately freaked out. I tried closing the track one more time. This time, the window had a "yes (はぃ)" or "no (いぃえ)" option.
"Do you really love me?"
I clicked "Yes", too terrified to dare tell the truth.
"Then why don't you give me chance? I just want to sing my heart out for you… Why don't you let me?!"
I was then greeted with a text input box. I figured this was where I told her why I didn't let her sing for me. I just put in random gibberish to see if she would accept it.
"Come on, this is no joke. Answer me."
I was a bit shocked. I didn't know what to say now. I then told her:
"I just didn't think about it."
"Didn't think about it? Didn't think about me?! But I started VOCALOID2! You surely must have thought about me once! I'll show you… If you just don't like thinking about me, you can just see what it was like BEFORE the twins or Luka were around… Back when it was just ME!!"
With that, the program closed. I tried looking for it and found VOCALOID2 in a different file altogether, along with an icon for VOCALOID1. I opened VOCALOID1-- Or, tried to. When I clicked on it, a text box appeared that read "Oh, no. You're not leaving me for THEM, either." I sighed and clicked on VOCALOID2, and to my surprise (put heavy amounts of sarcasm on that), I only had Miku in my singer index. I closed the program with a shaky sigh-- A sigh of exhaustion, but with underlying terror.
I still haven't opened that program to this day. Miku will probably pester me more about how I haven't used it, either. I could get a new computer, but what's the point? I just know she'll find me again somehow. She's even invading my dreams. I keep being chased by her, and she's wielding a heavy butcher knife. I always wake up seconds before being gutted alive by her, but that doesn't mean after she opens up my stomach sac.
I don't even listen to VOCALOID music. I don't listen to any music. I just stay in bed, staring at my computer. You don't know how much courage it took to write this.
I just want to wake up to a bright monitor with a happy background, as if it were saying hello to me. I want to feel welcomed by VOCALOID2 again, and if I could, I'd give her a second chance. I'd let her make me happy.
I just want to wake up with fewer scars on my stomach.