Hi there, my name is Oliver. You see, my 4 year old cousin (his name is Daniel) is a HUGE fan of Caillou. Everytime it comes on, his eyes are glued to the TV. When I heard that he was visiting with me over Christmas holiday, I was pretty excited. I felt like giving him a Caillou DVD as a special gift.
His Caillou addiction changed after that. This is why Daniel became a permanent fan of Shimajirō and permanently moved to Japan.
You see, it was Christmas day, and Daniel already got his presents. He got his toys and stuff like that.
That evening, my parents went out to a party at a friends house for the rest of the night. The only ones at home were me and Daniel. I almost forgot about his special gift I wanted to give him, so I went on eBay and searched "Caillou DVDs".
At the very bottom of the third page, there was a DVD named "caILLou loST epISodE". It was poorly written in a blue Sharpie, and the DVD itself had no case, and it looked burnt. The good thing was that it was only 20 cents! I thought it was too good to be true, so I bought it.
The DVD arrived just in forty-five minutes. "Quicker than I thought." I said in my mind.
So, I went upstairs with Daniel, and popped it in the DVD player. A little menu came up, and I went to Episode Selection. I saw that it only had 5 episodes, so I picked the first one. I left the room so he could watch the DVD while I ate dinner.
When I was eating pizza, the lights flickered and the power went out for a minute. "Who did that?" I said to myself. "Oh well, there was a snow storm a week ago.
Right when I was about to eat my chicken salad, Daniel burst into the kitchen, looking as pale as a sheet.
"Oliver," his voice seemed weak.
"Are you okay?" I asked, worried. I felt his forehead and noticed that his temperature had gone up.
"Why did Caillou kill his parents and destroyed his home town?!?" My heart sank to rock bottom, like a stone, but soon I brushed it off.
"Oh i'm sure Caillou didn't killed his parents it's probably just your imagination." I reassured him. "Now you need some rest and medicine." I said. And we got to the living room.
After putting him to bed I watched some TV in my room. 25 minutes later I got curious as to what he saw. So I went upstairs and popped in the DVD into the DVD player and it began to play.
I went to the episode selection and tried all the episodes. However, I noticed only episode 1 worked so I selected that. Man I wish I could go back in time and take it back.
The theme song was distorted and the animation was a bit blurry, but I could recall some scenes.
The episode was called "Caillou's Rampage", with Caillou having a sinister expression on his face. The episode started with Caillou's parents coming back from the grocery store.
"Where's that toy I wanted?" Caillou asked, while he looked in the shopping bags.
"I'm sorry, Caillou," his dad remarked. "but it was all out of stock."
Then, Caillou started crying. But it didn't sound like his typical cry. It sounded like a human crying, as if the voice actress was crying.
"I FUCKING HATE YOU GUYS! I HATE YOUR BODIES! I HOPE YOUR BODIES GET CREMATED, AND I HOPE YOU DIE ONCE I'LL KILL EVERY FUCKER, EVERY FUCKING OOGA BOOGA NIGGER, EVERY GODDAMN JEW, EVERY ARABIC GARBAGE, EVERY MUSLIM MUTT, EVERY HISPANIC TRASH, EVERY HINDU RAPIST, EVERY ASIAN SCUMBAG AND I WILL PRAISE ADOLF HITLER, HEIL HITLER, AND THE WHITE POWER!" Caillou shouted. Wow, I've never heard him use strong language before. I cringed at that. "CAILLOU THAT'S RACISM!" his mom yelled. "AND YOU DO NOT USE PROFANITY IN THIS HOUSE, YOUNG MAN! I WILL GET THE POLICE ON YOU, YOU RACIST RAT! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!" The yelling was so loud that I had to turn my volume down. At least Daniel didn't wake up. This is where things got creepy. Caillou closed his eyes for 10 seconds and then opened them, revealing 2 blood shot eyes with the infamous DUN DUN DUN sound playing. When I tried to turn the TV off, Caillou looked straight at me and said this in a satanic voice: "You're going to help me, even if you like it or not." I chuckled. I thought he was just breaking the fourth wall. "STOP LAUGHING." "Now, do you understand, Oliver? I gasped, and I thought to myself, "How does he know my name?" "Yeah, that's what I thought, nigga." Caillou remarked. I now had goosebumps, sweating, my heart was beating, and was shaking. I continued to watch. The next scene was of Caillou grabbing a knife from the kitchen and he tackled his mother. Then Caillou stabbed his mom in the stomach repeatedly and realistic blood splattered on the screen. Soon, Caillou ripped open her stomach and ate ALL of her intestines, while Caillou's mom screamed to death. Caillou pointed to his dad and said: "YOU'RE NEXT MOTHERFUCKER! WHITE POWER, NIGGAS!!!!" Caillou stabbed his dad's eye socket, slit his neck, ate his throat, and blood surrounded the whole kitchen. His friend Leo, came in only to see the carnage left behind. He became horrified as he told Rosie and Gilbert everything, telling them that Caillou is a monster and that he will call the police to arrest him. He shouted "Rosie and Gilbert, Caillou is a monster! You hear me? A monster! I really can't stand him anymore! I'm calling the police to arrest that back stabbing monster!" Leo ran to the living room to use a phone to dial 911 to call the police to arrest Caillou. Caillou then grabbed a gun and shot and instantly killed Gilbert and Rosie who are trying to stop him and then made it to the living room and shot Leo in the chest, killing him instantly after he called the police. Caillou then got in his parents car and started to destroy everything in town and opened fire on people GTA style. Eventually, a text appeared on screen saying "6 hours later". After destroying his home town and killing tons of people for 6 hours, Caillou finally returned home, his house appeared to be the only building that didn't seem to be affected by his rampage. Then, Caillou turned to the viewer and said: "In a few seconds, you will see nothing but darkness, and your life will be all pitch black. You were fucking stupid enough to watch this episode you gay bastard." Caillou then shot himself in the head with a M1014, killing himself instantly. <p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:16px;">Then, it went to the credits, but it looked like it was written by a toddler. The writing looked like someone wrote it with a red Crayola crayon. I only recognized Christine L'Heureux and Hélène Despeuteux's names as they worked on the original books. The rest were of people i've never even heard of. The copyright notice at the end said "© 1996 caillou iv productions" which was odd because the show didn't begin until 1997.
Then, I heard Caillou's voice and he said "Lights out jew."
The TV froze, the lights flickered, and the power cut out for 2 minutes now instead of 1 minute.
After the power out, I was very creeped out. I had goosebumps, sweating, shaking, and my teeth were chattering. I dialed 911 and showed the police the disc and they were disgusted. My family eventually found out and got back in a rush. I insisted that they destroy the disc but they didn't. The police placed the dvd in a bank fault near my home, which is where it remains today. When the police left, I got on my laptop and then went on to Gmail. I emailed Christine L'Heureux, the creator of the original Caillou books which were later adapted into the tv series we all know today. She responded the next day. She said this.
"One thing, how the hell did you find that? I never ever ever ever ever thought I would think about that old shame again! Please don't tell anyone about this Oliver, but this episode was created by a murderer named Edward Gonzalez. Edward was usually a pretty friendly guy and was polite to most staff members at first. He got a job at Cinar in 2001 but got fired in 2010. He was usually a very friendly staff member and was usually very happy with this job. But in 2008, his parents were killed in a massive shootout between the 2 rivaling African American gangs, the Bloods and the Crips while on vacation in California, causing him to go into a major depression. So he came up with morbid ideas. In 2010, Gonzalez found out that Caillou was closing production at the end of season 5 and passed off this episode as the series finale. At the time, at lunch breaks, Gonzalez started reading Mein Kampf which turned him into an anti semitist. He even forced Caillou's voice actress to do a sound effect on Caillou chocking. Luckily, the series finale was never aired after Teletoon realized the violent content this episode featured. He was fired and tried for treason long after he made this episode and the tape got buried somewhere in the woods of Quebec. Now back to Edward. He was a Mexican serial killer and rapist who killed more than 100 people, and raped around 385 women and girls in both Canada and America. He placed dead bodies in his freezer. In 2013 though, he left an apparent suicide note claiming he was going to live in Africa. However, no records claim he was ever there and he was last seen alive in Santa Monica, California purchasing a gun. He hasn't been seen since. Also you may be wondering how this episode got burned onto a dvd? I don't know! I don't! I am so sorry to the bottom of my heart, but I don't know how this episode got burned onto this disc! I'm so sorry Oliver! I'm so deeply sorry!"
Christine L'Heureux and everyone involved with Caillou's Rampage